PENDLE DAY

Satanists Take Over Pendle!!

Traffic tried to stop me, but not even gridlock could keep BAFOSatan from descending on Pendle! By the time I arrived, we were already running late, so naturally, we did the sculpture trail completely the wrong way round. Was it a mistake? Maybe. Was it Satanic efficiency? Absolutely.

Then came my main event the ritual and vigil for the Pendle witches! Cloaked in my BAFOSatan cape, armed with a cauldron of cookies and a hefty copy of Demonologie, I bellowed my ritual like a hellfire preacher to the crowd of Satanists below. It felt mighty, theatrical, and surprisingly wholesome as we decorated the witch statue with flowers in memory of those persecuted.

But the real chaos? Meeting Simon from Top Hats. His tour was legendary, but things hit peak “Pendle madness” at Alice Nutter’s grave. Gemma sat herself down right on the tombstone without realising, Loki and I laughing quietly as we signally to gem to stand up and that was just in the nick of time as a random stranger started photographing us, and that stranger had apparently been harassing Simon for years calling him some bizzare occult satanic leader, yet did Simon know that he was actually leading a group of Satanists around Pendle. You can already see the headlines: “Satanists Desecrate Grave in Pendle!” We couldn’t stop laughing.

The day wrapped up in style at the Pendle Inn food, drinks, and stories flowing like unholy communion. Then it was back to the Mercure hotel, where we scored a free upgrade (praise Satan for unexpected perks). Drinks with Loki and Gemma ended the night on a divine note.

Pendle witches, rituals, chaos, and camaraderie what more could you want? Satanists didn’t just visit Pendle, we bounded as a group, as Satanists, as friends and as a community.

Later edited post additions:

If you’re planning on going to Pendle

Giving plenty of time is key here, I wish we’d have got to the location way before to see how long it’d take from the car park to the walk with the statues! But if you do go absolutely check out Simon from top hat tours, he was an absolute dream!